I started thinking about this talk and I decided to look up a few words in the dictionary. I started with survivor.
Definition of survivor
A person or thing that survives.
To remain alive or in existence.
To remain functional or usable.
A person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks.
That didn’t do much for me so I looked up survivorship.
Definition of survivorship
The condition of being a survivor.
The probability of surviving to a particular age.
A person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks.
I still was not sure what I was looking for, but that felt closer. I then looked up the definition of fighter.
Fighter
A person with the will, courage, determination, ability, or disposition to fight, struggle, resist.
This room contains fighters. Both care givers and survivors.
We have fought back, sometimes alone, and sometimes with the help of others to take back control of our lives from a disease that creates horrible suffering and horrible outcomes. The people in this room have used every tool in the toolbox, every weapon in the arsenal to combat and push back this disease and every year we are winning this war, battle by battle. Soon, we will be victorious.
Every year more people are fighting and more people are surviving. This room contains some of the bravest and most courageous people I have ever had the honor to meet. The physicians, the nurses, the technicians, the office staff, the caregivers and the patients all are fighters and have one singular goal in mind. One focus and that is to stop and conquer cancer, to create survivors. Even this building, is a monument and symbol of the desire, determination and vision to treat patients and caregivers with respect and compassion in this struggle to survive.
I was told of an article attributed to A.M Thrash, M.D. from Seale, Alabama that outlined and told of the importance of attitude in surviving cancer. I can tell you from personal experience that attitude is important. If you knew me during my treatment, you knew my attitude was awful, but my caregivers attitudes more than made up for it and eventually helped me retune my attitude. I like to think I have adjusted it a bit since.
There are 25 characteristics common to survivors here. I will not read them all, but I will highlight some of the more important ones.
Characteristics of Cancer Survivors
1. They had a high expectation of favorable results.
2. Many had dealt with illness before and had experience in coping with ill health.
3. They exercised moderately and did not overdo it.
4. After treatment ended, they wanted to share their experience and hope with others.
5. They understood there are no absolutes in diagnosis. Everyone is different.
6. They sought alternative treatments when traditional medicine was not working.
7. They took charge of their healing and felt responsible for their own health.
8. They protected themselves from negative influences
9. They were patient in their expectations, dealing with both the good
news and the bad news.
10. They were open to examining their options and searching for
something that would work for them.
11. They had a willingness to change their attitudes.
12. They educated themselves in prevention and treatment.
13. They avoided added stress.
14. They stopped destructive lifestyles.
15. Most changed to a healthier diet.
16. They had something to look for. Many changed their vocations and life interests.
17. They realized they were not alone and developed positive relationships.
18. They showed compassion for others.
19. They maintained their sense of humor.
20. They developed an inward calm and took control of decisions that affected their lives.
21. They had the support of families and/or friends.
22. Many turned to creative endeavors for healing benefits.
23. Some used food supplements.
24. All were fighters - “active patients” - asking questions, searching for answers, not passive.
25. Many sought God or a higher spirit for healing.
These attitudes lead to a willingness to change and also to survive.
Okay, I have survived...Now what??
I have said this before, “Do not sit in a dark room, and wait for the other shoe to fall.” Yes, you could go for a follow up and hear the words “I am sorry your cancer is back.” That happens and all too often. But if you are a fighter you will once again pick up your banner and fight.
I have found that my cancer diagnosis, treatment and survivorship have seriously altered my priorities. I am only 18 months post treatment and have 4 clear scans behind me. I can hear those heartbreaking words in the back of my head, but I/we cannot dwell on that possibility.
I am sometimes still the same old grumpy guy, I used to be, (my wife calls me a curmudgeon now and then) but now I am focusing my energies in other areas. We all have the occasional bad day, but I am not going to sit and waste my time waiting to hear those words. What am I doing instead? Everything I can. I am traveling, I am enjoying time with our friends, and I am looking at life and seeing what it has to offer. I encourage all of you to do the same.
Many of you that know me are aware of how I volunteer in my community. I have been honored with the task to lead the local historical museum and also the local Lions Club. I also speak with head and neck cancer patients. Talking to them and letting them know it is going to be rough going, but that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am trying to give back to say thanks for all that has been given to me.
What are you going to do now that YOU are a survivor? The list is endless. You could paint and draw, you can travel, write, or act. You can knit or if you are musically inclined play an instrument or sing. You could kayak and ski, you could hunt and fish. There are motorcycles, hot rods, RV’s – street parties, volunteerism, gardening, pets, photography; the list is only limited by your creativity and energy.
When I think of someone frightened about a relapse or worried for their future, I know it is not those in attendance here. Who I am concerned for are those sitting at home, sitting and waiting for the other shoe to fall. Are there setbacks? Yes. Are there disappointments? Yes. Are they a reason to quit fighting and surviving? No, most certainly not.
I look to all of you to spread the message to them that it is okay to survive. It is okay to put your life back together and pick up where you left off. The struggle, although it seems like forever is only a short time in the overall scheme of things. The prize at the end of this is survivorship. It is a prize that we can all strive for and win. A prize we all deserve.
